


Isolation

by TealAlternian



Series: Claws and Scars (a Cookie Run AU) [1]
Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: (yet), Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Isolation, Mental Illness, Trauma, eating problems, invasive thoughts, loneliness/hopelessness, no happy ending, self hatred, this is only the first part ;], trigger warning, trigger warnings for:, violence/pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25513783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TealAlternian/pseuds/TealAlternian
Summary: Being alone with one’s thoughts can make it much harder to ignore them.  But everything is fine.  They’re just thoughts, right?  Right.  And everything is fine.
Series: Claws and Scars (a Cookie Run AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848391
Kudos: 12





	Isolation

(Author's note: Text (in parentheses) means thoughts/feelings)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logically, you know it’s not your best idea, keeping to yourself like this. But it’s your choice, and you stubbornly refuse to not follow through. Besides, if anyone really cares to see you (no one does), they can always come here, right? Right.

… And it’s not your fault you’re here, you just. Don’t feel like going out right now, that’s all. You’re just… tired. Really, really tired (so tired, when’s the last time you’ve even moved from where you’re lying, on the cold, hard ground?). For at least a few days. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

Besides, being alone (is terrible, awful, you hate it and it hurts) gives you time to think about things. Like (how their claws tore into you, it hurt, it hurt and they just watched it happen) how nice it is to just be by yourself. It’s quiet by yourself (too quiet, the silence is deafening), lets you focus on things for once. Not that you have much you need to focus on right now (nothing matters enough anyway), but hey, if you did, it would be easy.

… Maybe you should get up. Get something to eat (but why bother when you’re not even hungry?), it’s been a while since you last did that. You can’t just lay here forever, sooner or later you’ll have to get up and eat something anyway (you can’t, you can’t, you already feel so fucking sick and you don’t know why). Even though just lying here is nice (it’s so much easier than moving). You’ll just stay here a little longer is all, just another few minutes. Maybe an hour or two.

… How long has it been since you last visited Pitaya? A week? Two? A month? You’re not quite sure really (all you know is that the isolation of being here alone is clawing at you, tearing open your chest from the inside out). Maybe they’ll come visit soon (no they won’t, why would they ever want to be around someone like you?). You still refuse to go and see them yourself (they don’t want you around anyway, they hate you), it’s just (a burden on them) a waste of your precious time.

Would they miss you if you never visited again (no they wouldn’t, no one would)? If you just stayed in here by yourself from now on (you can’t do that, the mere thought feels like a stab to the heart)? Or would you just never see them ever again (you’d be left alone forever)?

… You’re not quite sure you want to know the answer to that really. Besides, you’re sure you would see them again eventually (no you wouldn’t), after all, someone as great as you is hard to stay away from (no one likes you, you’re just something to avoid). You’ll just stay here for now though, you’re still tired (you’re exhausted, your limbs feel too heavy to even move). It’ll only be a little longer probably (hopefully), then things will go back to being as they’ve always been. You’ll go back to harassing Pitaya on their own island (no wonder they hate you), and occasionally they’ll do the same to you.

You just need a little longer is all. Just another day or two (or week, or month), and you’ll be back to feeling your best (that’s not saying much, it’s been years since you’ve even been happy for very long). Back to going about your day as usual. Back to seeing them again.

But for now, you’ll just stay here. Get some rest, give yourself time to think (about how alone you are, about how much you hate your very existence). That’s all. Just for a little bit longer.

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is only part one of this AU. Please leave your feedback if you have any!


End file.
